Books by Thelonius Chestang

 My daughter was found to have a brain tumor one night to explain headaches and dizziness. The very next morning I had to sign a "hold harmless" agreement for brain surgery. The doctor said, "We will save her but life will be different."

That was 15 years ago and "different" has been a wild understatement. At the time, I was not a very good husband. I was not a very good father. My sights were focused on all kinds of things not related to my house/family. 

In order to help keep our daughter alive, I had to evolve. We make life and death decisions every day now, multiple times per day. Doctors tell me they can't wear my shoes. But, really...I can't wear my shoes either.
So, I write about the process of becoming a better version of oneself but by dealing with life challenges, adapting to the need, letting go of things that you thought were important but really aren't.
My fiction novels offer an example of what that process might look like in different kinds of life circumstances. 

I never got my 5-yr old  daughter back. I'm not sure I really fully grieved the loss of my 5-year-old little star. She was wildly intelligent, athletic and loved absolutely everybody. But the process of becoming a better me has helped me to accept this new person that requires my best every day in order for her to live.
So that's what I write about...that process of becoming a better version of myself has to go someplace....it has to have some kind of a reason. And I need more than to just tread water in her life or mine. Staying afloat is not enough. Living one more day isn't enough. I believe my readers each have their own reasons but maybe need a little help to see the beauty of the own picture and their own opportunity to add something special to the world.  

When you are inside the frame, you can't see your own picture.  But maybe if you can see the same process happening in someone else's life, either real or fictional, it can help you to embrace your journey and all that it brings. 

  Have you ever had an idea that you didn't really understand but you had the idea for a very long time?
I was writing poems on a Christian distribution list at work.  I had started penning them with expressions like, "Your brother in Christ," you know...removing my overt identity.  Then one night, I was working late and got caught up on writing a poem.  I penned it "Just Another Piece of Clay" and suddenly it occurred to me that there was something to this expression.  Soon, it became a brand under the company JAPOC Industries, which I founded in 2006.

I still didn't really know what to do with it or the concept.  I finished my first book in 2009 which I started writing in 2006.  It seemed to be appropriate for what I was doing. I needed a vehicle for the concept but I still didn't have a mission.  What would be the point?  I sold T-shirts.  I started looking into jewelry and other things.

Like anyone that gets out of the box, I got lost in my own ideas.  I spent a fair amount of money and generated a fair amount of debt for the sake of a mission I didn't have and a message I didn't truly understand. That didn't change until 2018 when I truly began to commit to my own authenticity and wherever it led me.  Through meditation and self-reflection I came to believe that the message of supporting one's own authenticity and personal excellence under God's influence is a sufficient enough message alone.

I have decided to use my literary works to advance this message.  I hope to also do this through movies. 

 What am I hoping to achieve?

At my core, I'm a person that doesn't want to go back to living life in fear, through my insecurities and my own lack of self-affirmation.  For most of my life, I needed approval because I didn't like myself.  In elementary school, I was one of two or three black children.  As you'd imagine, I wasn't accepted.  I was called names and was forced to fight often. Then, I went to nearly all black high schools and found that I wasn't accepted there either.  I still was called names and had to fight to defend myself.  When I was younger, it seemed like I was not truly accepted anywhere I was.   Even after getting married and having two children, I did not feel accepted even by my own wife.  

What I really learned in 2018 is that I did not love myself.  Once I later came to love myself, what others thought of me mattered very little.  I was free!  However, there was a path for me to get there and all the twists and turns on the way had value.  Without feeling the "need" to prove myself, I would not have done many of the things I accomplished.

I choose to have faith that none of it is an accident.

Isaiah 64:8 declares that God is shaping and molding us all.  If I take this one passage in the light of everything else I understand from biblical text, God is building us in order to accomplish a greater good and also for our own specific good.  We need only to embrace God's influence by fully exercising both our faith and our works simultaneously.

 

 I don't even know how to describe myself anymore.  I recently considered Strengths and Weaknesses in preparation for a job interview.  I realized that I don't really care about what my weaknesses are.  It's an irrelevant question.  If a need is placed before me, either I engage it or I don't. In the immortal words of Yoda, "There is no try - only do or do not."  So, then achievement is purely a matter of preparation, commitment and opportunity.

However, if I truly believe that my accomplishments are purely a matter of my own effort and opportunity to execute on that effort (let's include guidance or mentorship in the opportunity bucket) what about the matter of Should do?  I have, without boasting, claimed infinite ability towards Can Do.  But I must also consider Should do.  So, that is who I am; someone who tries to balance Can do with Should do.  Next question is, what should I do?  If I am to be guided by my own will and conscience, should do must be driven by my values, identity and mission - and must be true to the message.  

That message is to encourage all, even myself, to embrace my own individuality and authenticity to continually become the best of who & what God prepared me to become.